He came back to apologize and gave me a janky proposal to marry him. I feel literally like a complete fool now because I agreed to marry him. I knew 100% that was not true but that’s the story he wanted to roll with. Fast forwarding, past finding out about those photos, he repeatedly lied about everything else I found out about and eventually I discovered he had several women’s addresses and even a hotel visit that was over 2 hours long that he tried to keep hidden. That’s when he completely cast all blame on me- I was doing this or that for him, they gave him the attention he wanted, I wasn’t doing my job, everything you could think of he was saying to me!

I know I love him so much but to keep enduring this pain and then the pain of being blindsided by blame and deceit is seriously beyond painful

This man threw my engagement ring in the trash then repurchased a ring and surprised me with it and 2 days later cheated on me with some whore who lived at Newburgh Square Apts! I’m not sure what to do exactly. I’m not sure if I should just divorce him and move on. It feels like something isn’t allowing me to just close my eyes against whatever this stronghold is and leave him. He takes NO ACCOUNTABILITY at all for what he has done and caused in my life. Let alone time I can’t get back! Now being married to him all he does is my pain is self inflicted and that it’s my fault because I think whatever thoughts I think.

All that hiding his phone and spending unnecessary time in the basement randomly is bothering me. I tell him I want us to be aligned with one another, work on our marriage. Even going to therapy both separately and together. Attend church and pray together. He feels he plays no part in me being sad, defeated, or feeling depressed. All he says is “I can’t deal with your emotional rollercoaster”! I tell him let’s me loving toward one another, I beg him of that. He just stands wherever he is, folds his arms, and looks at me very cruel like. He doesn’t want to go to therapy. Says he doesn’t need another human giving their opinions to him.

Sometimes I think people like the idea of love more than actually being in love

He also says his brother, cousin, and sister’s husband cheated on their spouses and they aren’t going through what we are (as though he is PROUD he is apart of a family of cheating men). It’s like he seriously doesn’t value me and sees nothing to correct on his behalf and shows no desire to correct or even modify his current behaviors. Though I do forgive him, the needs I express to him and even the willingness on his behalf to rebuild trust is not here. He says marriage should not require work. He acts like cheating on me should just repair itself. I asked him what is he contributing to our marriage…this man boldly said “Time”! data de amourfactoryA I feel completely overlooked and don’t know what to truly do to make things work any further.

I’ve given him 17 years of my life and body. It is difficult when the person you really love and are purely dedicated to refuses to see the trauma and damage that they are causing.

The same thing happened to me. You are not crazy. I had a wonderful marriage. We had been married 16 years had one child and I was 2 weeks pregnant with my second. He had 7 week affair and communication with this person likely went on for several years after. I didn’t find out until another 14 years later – that’s right I have been married for 30 years now – when I caught him in what he tells me is his second affair of 4 months. I wanted him to leave but he hasn’t. I have scream at the top of my lungs to try to get him to leave but he never has. It has been 2 years now and he is still holding on. I know I am the love of his life – but I also know I was never enough ( though he never told me he wasn’t happy 1 to the opposite he did everything to tell me he was). I don’t believe we ever had any problems. That led him to this. The only problem was him and how is seriously simply liked to be with whores that didn’t care that I was 2 weeks pregnant, or that we had 2 kids to raise – no that made it even better for the other women. It made him more appetizing that they could stuck their bitt out and my husband would choose them over anything he ever felt for me. So sad. My husband regrets what he did but in terms of where we are now – but I know that he can’t really have remorse that he wanted these women more than any integrity of our marriage. More than the past we shared or more than our future. It is hard to understand it but unfortunately it is true.